Friends… Friendship…. What’s the definition of a friend? What makes two people a friend? The word friend sounds good, right? Everyone has their perception of a good friend, right? For some its someone who is there for them, a shoulder to cry on, a person worth dying for, a person they care about, a person available for their support, a name which brings a stupid smile on their face, a name which when uttered brings back a series of memories in their mind, happy memories, sad memories or memories containing pain. Indeed, everyone has their own definition of a friend but in the past 2 years, I learned another definition of a friend which is quite different and doesn’t involve any of the above.
Online friend or a person I haven’t met yet. I wonder what made us friends? Consistent talking? No, because we often do talk to strangers consistently just because we’re bored. Was it the excitement to get to know each other and wonder what life is at the other part of the world? No, because that doesn’t create friends, it creates acquaintances, acquaintances whom you just talk to fulfill your curiosity. Probably for me it was finding a person much similar to myself which resulted in me opening up to that person completely. That also meant being vulnerable at their hands completely.
You know these online friends have a strange way of comforting you, just their words will comfort you and it’s a strange feeling as you know that they are not (physically) present with you but still they are there with you, just listening to your problems and not being able to solve them, a strange way to comfort, right? I wonder just how mere words could comfort you? Maybe they were not just mere words, they were their thoughts, thoughts that match yours, thoughts you needed to hear to comfort you, to tell you that you’re not alone.
Indeed it is a good feeling to know that there is someone out there, 100 miles apart who cares for you and who understands you, who listens to you and whom you often end up promising to meet them in real life, sometimes you fulfill that promise sometimes you don’t.
Sometimes you end up promising them to be with them for forever, that your friendship will last till eternity. You see that right there is where the problem begins because you can’t stop someone from leaving, you can’t see the future, you forget that eternity is just a myth, you can’t control someone’s thoughts, you can’t change their perception of you and when they want to leave they will leave. I wonder why doesn’t friendship comes with an expiry date so that we can be prepared to let go of that person?
It’s again a strange feeling when an online friend leaves you because you know in the first place that they were never with you (physically) but still, it hurts the same as your real-life friend leaving you. Why? You start to miss them, you start missing the conversations you used to had, it was as if they were a crucial part of your life without being (physically) in your life. Only you know that they left you, no one knows this hurt except you, now you can’t even talk about it with someone as they might say “So what? They were just your online friend? Why are you overexaggerating it? We are here for you, right? Just move on.” Now who will tell them that you yourself made them a crucial part of your life, you made them a part of your routine so now it hurts the same as losing your real-life friend. Every day without them feels empty and incomplete.
The worst part is that you don’t have any power over this, you are feeling totally powerless as you can’t do anything about it because they chose to leave you and now nothing you say or do will bring them back. Strange how I just said, “bring them back”? like when were they with you? They were in some other part of the world, living their own life. You felt them beside you every time you were in trouble, every time life was getting hard, every time you needed to talk to someone, every time you needed to let out your emotions, every time you needed a shoulder to cry upon and every time you needed a friend you felt them beside you, being someone who many failed to be in your life. A best friend. Strange isn’t it? That how can someone miles apart turn out to be more precious to you than the person sitting next to you? Strange how sometimes an online friend can become more important to you than your real-life friends?
In the end, I’d like to say that online friends can be the best or the worst kind of friends you could ever get because the memories you shared with them are all virtual and when they leave it hurts the same or maybe more than losing a real-life friend. So, you should always consider an online friend as just an acquaintance, never let them too close to you, never open up to them because they leave with everything you told them, with all your secrets you told them and also with all those promises left broken.
well penned . . !